


Wanna be kissed

by OpeningMyEyes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Hogwarts Era, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Pining, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24390733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpeningMyEyes/pseuds/OpeningMyEyes
Summary: Sirius Black has never kissed a girl. In fact, Sirius Black has never kissed anyone, ever.In which Sirius Black is completely and irrevocably in love. Too bad Remus doesn’t know.(Yet)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 293





	Wanna be kissed

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is a quick Wolfstar one shot because they are the loves of my life! Enjoy!!
> 
> P.S the title is word play on the song ‘Wanna be Missed’ by Hayley Kiyoko.

Sirius Black has never kissed a girl. In fact, Sirius Black has never kissed anyone, ever. 

It’s not that the opportunity hadn’t presented itself, because Merlin, it had. Sirius was infamous in Hogwarts, the brooding Black boy, the first to not be sorted into Slytherin. The boy who ran away from home. The leather jacket wearing, wild haired, grey eyed mystery man. 

Apparently girls were into that, if Sirius’s friends were to be trusted. 

“What about Lucy Lancaster?” Peter whispered as the Marauders sat curled up in a corner, their corner, of the Gryffindor common room. 

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, looking across the room to the blonde girl in question. “The fourth year?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, I mean, she’s only one year younger than us and she’s really pretty and smart.” He gushed. 

Sirius looked over at his friend. “I think she sounds more like your kind of girl Wormy.” He said, standing up and moving to sit closer to the fire, grabbing his book off the coffee table as he went. He curled up on the cushy red sofa, but had barely opened the book to the latest page when James Potter himself flopped down next to him. 

“I know there’s someone you fancy.”

Sirius didn’t look up from his book. “Do you now?” He didn’t need to look at James to know his friend was flushing a little red. 

“Okay well, I don’t know.” He admitted. “But I do suspect.”

Sirius met his eyes, amused. “There’s a fair bit of a difference between knowing and suspecting Prongs. For example, I know that you’re one hundred percent head-over-heels in love with Lily Evans, but I only suspect that you were the one who put itching powder in Lucius Malfoy’s quidditch robes.”

“It wasn’t me.” James grumbled and continued when Sirius looked at him disbelievingly. “Really it wasn’t. That’s not my style… anymore.”

Sirius laughed, patting him on the shoulder. “Yeah I know, Evans wouldn’t approve.”

“Yeah but also I just think we’re a bit too mature for stuff like itching powder when our time could be much more productively dedicated to tasks such as perfecting the map.”

Both boys sighed longingly. The map, their pride and joy. It wasn’t quite perfect yet - they still had a few passages to fill in, but it was getting pretty close. 

James shifted in his seat to face Sirius properly, and Sirius mirrored his movements.

“In all seriousness though Pads, you know you can talk to me, right?”

Sirius smiled at his friend in a way that he could only pray was reassuring and nodded. “Of course I know James. I promise if there was anything to know, I would tell you.”

James nodded and stood up. “Good. Okay, I’ll uh, leave you to your reading.” 

James retreated back to the others and Sirius watched him go, watched him sit down next to Remus. Watched as Remus offered him a chocolate frog. 

Sirius hadn’t been lying to James, unless you counted a lie of omission. There really was nothing to tell - nothing had happened per se. Nothing had happened… recently. Because Sirius Black had been in love with Remus Lupin for a long time. 

Remus-motherfucking-Lupin. The bane of Sirius’s existence. The love of Sirius’s life. He had known for years. Known that the love he felt for James and Peter was very, very different to the love he felt for Remus. He didn’t imagine James kissing him. He didn’t take a deep breath whenever Peter hugged him, trying to memorise his scent. So yeah, Sirius has never kissed anyone, simply because it wouldn’t be fair. Not to anyone. Not when Sirius’s heart was no longer his own to give away. 

“Pads, we’re playing exploding snap, do you wanna join?” Remus called from where they were all laughing and Sirius sighed, already standing up. He’d never been able to say no to his tawny haired friend. 

“Deal me in.”

“Fuck!”

Sirius’s head whipped up at the sound of Remus cursing. “Moons?” He called, swinging his legs off the side of his bed and drawing back his curtains, “Are you okay?”

Remus sat on his own bed, a dripping mug in his hand. “Yeah sorry,” he grumbled. “I’m just a twat, I spilled my tea all over myself.”

Sirius but his lip laughing even as he grabbed his wand and spelled away the puddle on the floor. Remus caught the back of his t-shirt and pulled it off over his head in one swift movement that took Sirius’s breath away. 

“I cast a cleaning charm.” Sirius stuttered uselessly, his eyes focused on Remus’s lightly tanned skin, the faint whisper of shining scars that moved as Remus stood up. 

“I know.” Remus shrugged and Sirius just gazed at those powerful shoulders. “But I still feel it, you know? I just need a new shirt.”

Sirius nodded helplessly as Remus walked to the trunk at the end of his bed and pulled out another shirt. Sirius thanked Merlin that the other boy was faced away from him because there was no way he could disguise his gawking at the dips of Remus’s shoulder blades, the curved run of his spine. Fuck, Sirius would give anything to trace his fingers over that soft skin. 

Remus tugged the shirt over his head and crawled back onto his bed leisurely. Sirius’s heart rate was anything but. Everyone assumed that Remus was super scrawny, and they had been right, at least at first. When Remus had arrived at Hogwarts, that’s exactly what he had been - a stick thin little boy with big caramel eyes. But a wonderful combination of a solid three meals a day, a growth spurt and having to stay fit in order to help him recover from his monthly adventures had resulted in Remus Lupin looking like he starred in wet dreams. 

(Nevermind the fact that he starred in all of Sirius’s dreams).

“Gnight guys.” Peter called from behind his curtains, the rest of the Marauders chorused a sleepy response and once again, the dorm room was silent, unlike Sirius’s brain. No, his traitorous thoughts just kept thinking about what it would be like to make Remus shout ‘fuck’ again in a non-tea related incident. 

(They were some pretty good thoughts).

“Hey Sirius.”

Sirius looked up from his breakfast to see Anna O’ Connell sliding onto the bench next to him. 

“Hi?”

“There’s a trip to Hogsmeade today.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Sirius couldn’t quite decipher the look on Anna’s face at his response. 

“So… are you going?” She asked, reaching forward and touching Sirius’s wrist lightly. Sirius looked over at the other Marauders who had all stopped eating to listen in. 

“Yeah we’re all going.” Sirius said nodding his head at the others. “Aren’t we lads?”

Sirius could see James looking at him with wide eyes and a ‘what the hell are you doing?’ expression and Remus wasn’t looking at him at all. Peter looked nervously between Anna and Sirius for a moment before nodding. “Yeah we are.”

“Oh right, yeah okay.” Anna said, beginning to stand up. “I guess I might see you there so.”

Sirius shrugged. “I guess so.”

Anna walked away and before she was even out of hearing range, James punched his shoulder not-so-lightly. “Mate, what the hell?”

Sirius rubber his throbbing arm. “What was that for?”

“She was obviously asking you out!”

Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice. “Well apparently it wasn’t that obvious, cause I didn't know about it.”

Remus finally met his eyes, wincing slightly. “It was pretty blatant.”

Sirius sighed and slumped forward, resting his head in his hands. “Oh my god I’m so dumb.”

James nodded in agreement. “Yeah you are. But if you went after her now and just explained what happened I’m sure she’ll still go out with you.”

Sirius shook his head. “No I don’t want to go out with her. I just wish I could tell when people are asking me out. I feel like it’s probably something I should be aware of.”

Remus smirked and Sirius’s gut twisted. He loved that little twitch of the other boys lips. “Probably.”

Peter patted Sirius’s shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t worry about it Pads, I’m sure you’ll get it the next time.”

Sirius just stared down at his now-cold toast. “Yeah.” He mumbled. “Next time.”

Sirius sat down on his bed and fell back dramatically, staring up at the rafters of the dorm. His radar for girls asking him out had not improved, according to his friends a grand total of five girls approached him that week alone. He had only known one of them asked him out on a date. 

(That was only because she said “Hey, wanna go on a date with me?”)

He had politely declined. 

Sirius sighed and grabbed his little red ball he kept on his locker and threw it up in the air as he lay on the bed, finding the steady rise and fall soothing. Most of Gryffindor, most of the castle really, we’re all outdoors enjoying the first properly sunny day in a long while. He knew if he looked out the window, he could probably spot James, Peter and Remus all sitting under the oak tree they tended to frequent. 

There was a knock on the door. “Sirius?” Remus asked, poking his head in. 

Or maybe Sirius wouldn’t find them all outside after all. 

“Hey.” Sirius said, stopping throwing the ball but not sitting up. 

Remus lay down next to him. On the small bed, their shoulders were pressing together and Sirius could feel the heat radiating off the other boy. 

“Why aren’t you outside?”

Sirius shrugged. “Just wanted to think I guess.”

“Will I leave you alone?”

If it had been anyone else asking? Yes, Sirius wanted to be alone. But for Remus?

“No, you can stay.”

Sirius resumed throwing the ball, every so often passing it to Remus to give him a go. They lay side by side in silence for several minutes before Remus spoke again. 

“Hey Pads? Could I… ask you something?”

Sirius turned his head slightly just for a second to glance at him. “You can ask me anything.”

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Remus biting his lip for a moment as if choosing his words carefully. 

“Why do you… why do you never say yes to any of those girls?”

Sirius’s heart stuttered for a moment but he took a steadying breath. “I just don’t fancy any of them.”

“But isn’t that the point of dating? To see if you could maybe fancy someone?”

Sirius laughed nervously. “I guess I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been on a date.”

Remus fiddled with the fraying cuff of his jumper. “Yeah me neither.”

They were quiet again for a moment before Remus started talking again. “Do you think you’ll ever ask one of them out?”

“The girls?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it wouldn’t be fair.”

Remus huffed our a breath. “Come on Pads, that’s a non-answer.”

Sirius rolled his eyes at the typical Remus response, but his lips twitched. “I don’t fancy girls.”

He held his breath, waiting for Remus’s response. He didn’t think it would be bad exactly, he knew his friends! He knew he could trust them, he knew they loved him but sometimes no matter how much logic dictates otherwise, a tiny inkling of doubt can creep in. 

“I’m not so sure I do either.”

Sirius wasn’t sure what kind of response he was expecting but it definitely was not that. He turned his head to see Moony already staring at him. They didn’t say anything - they didn’t need to, the look that flashed between them said enough. A quiet understanding. Remus’s lips quirked and Sirius’s eyes followed the movement before they resumed speaking. 

“So is there a guy you fancy?”

Fuck this was dangerous territory. But Sirius couldn’t lie, not to Remus. 

“Yeah.”

This time it was Remus who rolled his eyes. “Wow that was so descriptive.”

Sirius’s eyebrow arched. “It was a yes or no question.”

Remus huffed. “Fine, fine, don’t tell me.”

Sirius bit his lip. And rolled onto his side to face Remus. The taller boy did the same. “I don’t just fancy him, I’m in love with him.”

Remus’s breathing sounded uneven. “He must be incredible if you feel that way.”

It felt like there was an elephant standing on Sirius’s chest. “Merlin yes. He’s kind and thoughtful and I could get lost in his eyes forever. He runs his fingers through his hair when he’s thinking, when he’s studying I know he bites the top of his quill even though he denies it and when he’s nervous he plays with the cuffs on his jumper and it’s so cute and I -“

Sirius cut off as Remus’s hands stilled. Hands that had been fiddling with the cuff of his jumper. 

“-And he’s one of my best friends in the entire world. He’s brave and strong and the best person I know. I would do anything for him.”

Remus stared into his eyes for, Sirius couldn’t even tell how long. It could have been seconds or hours but to be frank, Sirius couldn’t give a fuck either way. Remus’s honey eyes had flecks of dark brown in them and all Sirius wanted to do was map the splash of freckles on his nose. Remus bit his lip so hard Sirius was nearly worried he’d draw blood before his eyes became steadier, more decided. Sirius watched as Remus’s chest rose unsteadily as he took a breath. 

“He’d do anything for you too.”

And fuck if Sirius didn’t want to cry. Or jump around laughing. Or shout with delight from the tower. But most of all, he wanted Remus. 

Cautiously, so cautiously, he reached his hand out and traced the cheekbones he had so often admired, Remus shivering lightly under his touch. His hand dropped lower as he ran his thumb over Remus’s ever so slightly parted lips, able to feel his hot breath on his skin. 

“Are you ever going to kiss me or am I going to have to do it myself?” 

“Merlin, I love you.” Sirius breathed before doing exactly that. He leaned down and connected their lips, at first, just a bare brush, Sirius was being so careful, waiting to see if Moony would decide that, actually no, he wouldn’t be making out with one of his best mates today, but that never happened. Instead, Remus tangled one hand in Sirius’s hair and wrapped the other tightly around his waist. 

“Kiss me properly you wanker.” Remus demanded and Sirius smirked before pressing his lips against Remus’s and for a moment, that was all he knew. The world could have exploded but all Sirius would have registered was the hot force of Remus’s lips on his own, the fingers curling in his hair and the hand pressing steadily into his waist. 

They pulled away gasping, Sirius looking at Remus’s swollen lips with a smug delight. He had always wondered what Remus would look like after a good snog. Now he knew. 

“I love you too.” Remus said simply, cupping Sirius’s jaw in his hand and caressing thumb over Sirius’s cheekbone. Sirius’s heart just about exploded and he quickly leaned down to reconnect their lips, gasping as he felt Moony’s leg wrap tightly around his waist and he pressed himself impossibly closer. 

“I love you.” He murmured against Remus’s lips. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Sirius has never kissed a girl. But he has kissed someone. The best someone in his opinion. The only someone really. Remus-motherfucking-Lupin; no longer the bane of Sirius’s existence. 

(But still the love of his life).

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Feel free to leave kudos and comments - they give me life!! I’m in the hospital at the moment, so I was only able to type it up on my phone so I apologise if there were any typos!
> 
> Stay safe out there! 
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr at onlydreamofmysoul


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